Memory #4

Lets begin where I left off............Steve! Steve was into smoking weed a lot. When my father died my mother attached herself to Steve. They bought us a puppy poodle and we named her Mimi. Steve was abusive even to the dog. Our dog hated him that every time he tried to be nice and pick her up she would pee on him. HA HA! Since he would kick her across the room and throw her into walls she was terrified of every man. So she peed on every man that touched her.

Steve liked to beat on my mom all the time. I am not sure what would set him off....I just know when he did get set off she paid for it dearly. One time they were arguing, they were in the kitchen, Steve broke some glasses on the ground, grabbed her, pushed her down, and rubbed her face in it. I was crying and my sister's were yelling at him to stop. My mom was able to get away and run to back room. One of my sister's said something that set him off. She was sitting in a recliner chair. He hit the back of it so hard it completely turned upside down with her still in it. I remember during the screaming that Steve was telling my mom that I wanted them to get married. He even put me on the spot. I froze and couldn't say anything out of fear of what was going on. I was still five at this point. The argument and all of us made the way to their bedroom. My other sister was jumping on their bed screaming to stop it asshole. Well he slapped her and my mother attacked him for touching her daughter. Steve then picked up the vacuum cleaner and hit her with it knocking her on the ground. We were all crying and screaming to please stop. Blood was everywhere it seemed like. My third and oldest sister grabbed me and took me in a bedroom and locked the door. She was telling me to cover my ears everything was going to be OK. If I remember correctly the cops were on their way which is what made him stop and leave.

My mom and Steve would always fight and make up. We never understood how she could take someone back after beating her black and blue. I think she did it out of fear he would kill her if she left and not wanting to be alone. My mom put up with Steve for about two years, if I remember correctly. My mother got life insurance money when my father died. She actually gave us a really nice Christmas. I remember gifts being everywhere. Anyways back to their relationship..........during the time they were together they planned on buying a house. We went house hunting, looked at model homes, and picked one out that we wanted built. Our house was almost done when my mom started finding ways to leave Steve. My mother finally had enough of the beatings. She got a restraining order against him and we left. The only thing was that he knew where our new house was. For a long time.....he made our lives a living hell. Some how he got a hold of our phone number. I remember answering it, he told me that this is not over. My sister got on the phone and told him to leave us alone. He then threatened that he was going to skin our mother alive in front of us. He told my mom that opposite that he was going to make her watch why he slowing killed each one of us if she didn't take him back. We were all terrified at night. He would look in our windows, constantly call and make threats, and make us aware of his presence. It seemed like he threatened us for an eternity, but it finally stopped. I think he went to jail and gave up. I always told myself that when I grew up I was going to find him and beat the living **** out of him for what he put us through.

The next man that my mother was with was a guy named Vance. Not too much to tell with him so I will go ahead and tell the story. Vance was actually very nice to all of us. At the time, I believe I was 7. Vance ended up having a drug problem. At the time, I did understand what coke was.........now I do, cocaine. Vance did so much cocaine one day that he coked out in the master bedroom bathtub. He was kicking and screaming so much that he kicked a hole in the bathtub with the heel of one foot. The police and ambulance game. My mother was done with him after that.

My mother was drinking more and more. I am not sure if it was because of her life or if it was something else. She felt that we were a burden and she would tell us that. She would tell us that she wished we were dead and if there was a way to do it and get a way with it she would. She would make us feel guilty when she bought us clothes. She would say that she never could buy her anything because she always had to buy us stuff. She would tell us she wish she never had kids. When she drank she became even more evil. She would get into fist fights with my sisters and try choking them. We had a two story house. My sister and her got into a fight bad one time. Her and my mother began to fist fight. They ripped each others clothes off, punched each other in face, pulled each others hair, and eventually rolled down the stairs still fighting. When my sisters and my mom would fight the only way to stop it was for my sister or sisters to leave. I will get more into other fights later.

Next, my mother met a man named Carl. This one lasted a long time. It was another roller coaster. I will talk about this in next post.

Till next time...............